Once I participated in hosting an American delegation of agricultural science and technology in 1980’s. The American guests were very satisfied with their fruitful visit and their friendly and hospitable Chinese hosts. However the American guests were troubled by a small statement which they could never understand. To respond the gratitude by the guests to the host, the local leader who hosted the farewell banquet said: “This is just an everyday meal which can not express my great respect to you. It is not worth mentioning at all.” The guests insisted on that this was the best dinner they had ever had, and why did the host say “it is just an everyday meal”? Do you really have meals like this every day? If this is not the best, and what is the best then?
The American guests were puzzled and the Chinese hosts embarrassed. No matter how hard the interpreter tried to explain, the Americans could not understand it at all. The Modesty or Humbleness in Chinese culture collided with Factualism in Western culture, and thus misunderstanding occurred.
We communicate the way we do because we are raised in a particular culture and learn its language, rules, and norms. Different cultures may have different rules and norms. Understanding the other's culture facilitates cross-cultural communication.
All communication occurs between people who have varying degree of familiarity with each other. The key factor in understanding intercultural communication is the concept of the stranger.
Strangeness and familiarity make up a continuum. We use the term "stranger" to refer to those people at the most unfamiliar end of the continuum. Thus anyone could be considered a stranger, given a sufficiently foreign context. A stranger has limited knowledge of their new environment - of its norms and values. And in turn, the locals have little knowledge of the stranger - of her beliefs, interests and habits.
Generally speaking, communication with another involves predicting or anticipating their responses. When communicating with someone familiar we are usually confident in our anticipation, and may not even notice that we are making such predictions. In contrast, when we communicate with strangers we are more aware of the range of their possible responses, and of the uncertainty of our predictions.
Generally, in communication, we seek to reduce uncertainty. Communication with strangers involves relatively greater degrees of uncertainty, due to the difficulty in predicting a stranger's responses. It is the culture differences that often cause communication problems.
If communication problems develop, we need to be patient and forgiving, rather than hostile and aggressive. One should respond slowly and carefully in cross-cultural exchanges, not jumping to the conclusion that you know what is being thought and said.
What to do with heated conflicts? Well, just stop, listen, and think. What could be going on here? Is it possible that I misinterpreted what they said, or they misinterpreted me? Often misinterpretation is the source of the problem.
How to improve our cross-culture communication skills? Basing on my personal experience in international exchanges over the years, I would like to offer the following simple tips.
Slow Down Even when English is the common language in a cross cultural situation, this does not mean you should speak at normal speed. Slow down, speak clearly and ensure your pronunciation is intelligible.
Separate Questions Try not to ask double questions such as, "Do you want to carry on or shall we stop here?" In a cross cultural situation only the first or second question may have been comprehended. Let your listener answer one question at a time.
Avoid Negative Questions Many cross cultural communication misunderstandings have been caused by the use of negative questions and answers. In English we answer 'yes' if the answer is affirmative and 'no' if it is negative. In other cultures a 'yes' or 'no' may only be indicating whether the questioner is right or wrong. For example, the response to "Are you not coming?" may be 'yes', meaning 'Yes, I am not coming.'
Take Turns Cross cultural communication is enhanced through taking turns to talk, making a point and then listening to the response.
Write it Down If you are unsure whether something has been understood write it down and check. This can be useful when using large figures. For example, a billion in the USA is 1,000,000,000 while in the UK it is 1,000,000,000,000.
Be Supportive Effective cross cultural communication is in essence about being comfortable. Giving encouragement to those with weak English gives them confidence, support and a trust in you.
Check Meanings When communicating across cultures never assume the other party has understood. Be an active listener. Summarize what has been said in order to verify it. This is a very effective way of ensuring accurate cross cultural communication has taken place.
Avoid Slang Even the most well educated foreigner will not have a complete knowledge of slang, idioms and sayings. The danger is that the words will be understood but the meaning missed.
Watch the humor In many cultures business is taken very seriously. Professionalism and protocol are constantly observed. Many cultures will not appreciate the use of humor and jokes in the business context. When using humor think whether it will be understood in the other culture. For example, British sarcasm usually has a negative effect abroad.
Maintain Etiquette Many cultures have certain etiquette when communicating. It is always a good idea to undertake some cross cultural awareness training or at least do some research on the target culture.
Cross cultural communication is about dealing with people from other cultures in a way that minimizes misunderstandings and maximizes your potential to create strong cross cultural relationships. The above tips should be seen as a starting point to greater cross cultural awareness.